Doing Stupid Shit

I was pretty sure that night I was going to get drunk. It had only really happened one other time in my life, and at 23 I was running out of time to do stupid shit and be able to blame it on the booze. My friends, Robby and Kurt, were keen to just have a quiet night in Robby’s apartment with some drinks, weed, and then a party later that evening. I decided to tag along since Robby and Kurt were both in relationships. Their significant others were working and at study, respectively, so I was pretty safe with them. I also had no desire to be with either one.

Yep, a bit like this

We started at the bar around the corner from where we all worked. The number of drinks I had proved what a lightweight I really was. We went to the liquor store after and grabbed a big bottle of sangria. I’d heard the name before. Apparently it was tasty. I didn’t realize that sangria shouldn’t be bought in a bottle in a liquor store at that time. I thought I was being posh.

We took them back to Robby’s place and enjoyed a glass or two. Then the weed came out.

Tipsy. So tipsy.

“You should show me your breasts,” Robby said, breaking my revelry.

What the hell did he just say?

“No!” I said, indignant.

Robby laughed as my face turned red. “I was only joking.”

I joined in the laugh. It wasn’t funny. Uhh, maybe it was.

I looked down at my glass. So very empty. How long since I last filled it? I walked to the bottle of Sangria sitting on the counter-top and poured. The remaining drops of the bottle trickled out. Why didn’t I buy more than one? Was I not meant to drink this much? I think I wasn’t. Hmm. It’s fine. I’m fine.

I take another swallow and laugh at the joke Kurt just told. I clumsily settle back down into the couch and giggled at the blurriness of the room.

“If you show me your boobs, I’ll show you my dick,” Robby said.

“No! I’m not that kind of girl,” I said.

I wonder what it would be like to see an actual willy. I’ve never seen one before. In fact, until earlier this year I was disgusted by the thought of sex.

He’s got a girlfriend, though! He shouldn’t be asking me this.

We smoked another joint. I confessed my virginity. He confessed he was fourteen when he lost his. It was a weird bonding experience.

“You definitely should show me your boobs,” he said with a wink.

I stared at him for a moment before I said, “No.”

He really needed to stop saying it. It was starting to annoy me.

I emptied my glass, and he poured me a glass of something. I drank it all. As the final dregs dropped, he stood up and laughed, “Boobies.”

Ughhh! Why won’t he just shut up about it already? I told him no three times.

“Fine! If only to get you to shut up about it,” I said as the fury took hold.

I stood up and lifted my top, revealing my bra. I dropped my shirt as fast as I lifted.

“No. I want to see them. Not your bra,” he mocked.

Ugh! Fine!

I lifted my top and my bra with it. He unzipped his pants and revealed himself, “Oh, look! It likes you!”

I gasped and stormed out of the room. Kurt had sat staring at the screen trying to sink as low as he could into the cushions.

Robby received a call moments later. The party had started. I told him, “I’m ready to go home.”

“That’s fine. We’ll drop you home, then,” Kurt said, pulling my arm towards the apartment door.

Robby let out a boisterous bellow and grabbed his keys.

As he locked the door, he muttered, “I wonder if your vag is as nice as your breasts.”

I tried to slap him, but I lost balance and had to use the wall to right myself again.

“Let’s just get her home,” Kurt said.

My place was only ten minutes away from his, so it would be a short trip. But it seemed to go for hours. My head swayed and eyes couldn’t focus. The world was a whirlwind of lights and bitumen.

“How’s about it?” Robby said. “I wouldn’t do anything. Just look.”


I laid my head on the door and tried to drown out his laughter.

Kurt said something on my behalf, but I missed every word, consumed in anger, frustration and annoyance.

“It’s not like I’m going to stick it in. It’ll be completely harmless,” he suggested.


“I’m just playing. I don’t really want to see it. It’s probably just a bunch of bush anyway.”

My head snapped up and glared at him. “Whatever.”

We pull up towards my townhouse. As the car slows down, he winked at me, “Bet you do want me to see it. I know you do.”

“FINE! Shut up. Just shut up. Come up and look and leave,” I growled.

But Kurt jumped out of the car the moment it stopped and helped me up the stairs forcing Robby to stay in the car.

“Get some rest,” he said, as he helped me balance.

I opened the door, staggered inside, closed it, and screamed.

I sat in the dark for another twenty minutes before my housemate came home and saw me, tears streaming down my face and onto my knees.

As I recounted the night, his fists clenched tighter and tighter. The natural reaction a man should have when a woman is taken advantage of.

I recovered, albeit slowly. I decided then and there I had used my quota of doing stupid shit when I was drunk.


9 thoughts on “Doing Stupid Shit

  1. Fortunately nothing more happened but already too much had. So I’m curious about the after story. What happened when you saw him again? So many girls probably think this is normal behavior. Getting these kinds of stories out helps to show it is not. Thank you for sharing.


    1. I wish I had more space for this one to tell the after story. The short part was that I told one of the girls at work the next day, and it circulated through the restaurant until it reached his girlfriend. She kicked him out. After that I saw him only in passing and neither of us were very keen to chat.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Excellent showing vs telling in this story, giving an authentic feel to our intentions and reactions when drunk. Having just passed 18 years sober, too many nights like this are still too fresh in my mind.


  3. Great dialogue! Great job showing us what a fucktard Robby was. I’m so glad things did not escalate further, still, I know the humiliation. Well done Melony, both in life and in the writing of this experience.


  4. I find the world we live in a little surreal. I never knew these kinds of people existed – well I did from newspapers but I thought they were ‘over there’

    I won’t apologise for my gender because the people I know don’t, as far as I can tell, act like that and I really do hope the ones that do are a very small part of the population.

    However my confidence in our culture and society has been shaken a lot lately. Its not the Saville, Harris, Cosby or even Trump that has done it. Its the Trump supporters aggressively dismissing criticism as political correctness crap that scare me.

    This is not the attitude I signed up for. I can only hope the public discussion is the start of a revolution that will remove these kinds of people from our culture.


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