The Cat-astrophe (a children’s tale)

Millie, the kitten, arrived at her first Annual Cat Conference alongside the Great Persian, also known as Vader to their pets. She pranced into the giant meeting room glancing from side to side.

She could hardly believe what she saw.

Long curtains flowed from beside windows, and cats were climbing up them with no regard for their safety. Others howled wishing to join but knowing if they did they would be knocked down by the cats sitting on the window ledges. Their perches were not to be disturbed. Also it was rather fun swiping for no reason whatsoever. There were tall towers covered in cats precariously sitting on the edges, and a warm hearth where others laid in balls around it.

The sounds of the room were amazing to Millie. Meows echoed. Tiny purrs and mews could be heard in all directions.

At the front of the room, before a great podium, kittens were sectioned off inside a big enclosure. They continued to try and get out, but any that reached the top was immediately pushed back in. Their fur was spiky and they growled and hissed even though it didn’t change their circumstances at all.

The Great Persian turned to Millie and meowed a command, “Get in the children’s pen.”

Millie mewed back. She didn’t want to be in there. She wanted to be with all the other cats.

Vader slapped Millie on the nose, and she finally obeyed. She climbed up the pen and landed inside.

For a minute, she tumbled around and pounced on the other kittens. They joined her until the moment the microphone at the podium screeched across the room.

The Cat conference had begun.

Millie barely listened to what was said. The Great Persian mewed on and on about something, but she was more interested in a tiny hole she had just seen at the bottom of the podium. Maybe if she got inside, she could get back out to the adult cats.

She snuck inside and saw a big area filled with string and balls of yarn coming from the ceiling.

Outside, she heard Vader start giving out awards. She poked her head back out to see who won.

A line of cats were heading to the podium. An award were given for longest sleep on a lap. Another award went to meanest cat to the dog. Another award was given for fuzziest cat ever, to which a fight broke out when only five were named.

The awards went on for forever, and Millie’s attention waned. She inched back into her personal playground and started to attack yarn. It seemed really hard for yarn, but it didn’t stop her. She rolled on her back and kicked it all around into the air. She got herself tangled, though, and for a moment, her quiet purrs turned to howls and hisses.

“And the final award for the evening,” Vader called from outside, “is for the longest sleep in the history of cats. The award goes to…”

Millie turned and turned and kicked and kicked, and at just that very moment, she was finally untangled. But she had hanked all of the yarn from the ceiling. A loud screech followed from outside and something fell over with a great big thud.

Millie darted out from under the podium and ran to the edge of the conference room before she realized what happened. The Great Persian was on his back. The podium on which he had sat had crashed onto the kitten pen, and smoke was rising from underneath.

Vader turned over and his great meow echoed across the conference, “Get out!!!”

Millie turned and ran. She ran so fast and so hard that she only just came to realize that she had run home when she walked through the doggie door.

Her pets were sitting there watching TV, and she decided now was as good a time as any to cuddle. She propped herself on a lap and pretended to fall asleep.

Vader came in shortly after, eyes burning with anger. “You’re banned from the cat conference, Millie,” she read in his gaze.

She accepted with not a word of fuss.




(I’m keen to have this illustrated if it’s good enough. I’m no artist unfortunately. Haha)


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