Flash Fiction Challenge Round 2 Feedback

Normally, I would fully support the feedback given from the NYC Midnight judges, as I have not had a bad experience with them before. This time around, I feel they may have read mine towards the end and were overly critical of it. And perhaps a little bit contradictory. I also feel the first judge may have only skimmed the start of the story. So now I know why I didn’t go through to Round 3 and I can move on with my life. 🙂

Here’s the feedback:

”The Lager Merger” by Melony Boseley – WHAT THE JUDGE(S) LIKED ABOUT YOUR STORY – ………Normally, there’s no need to show greetings — it can be extraneous conversation which slows down the pacing. Here, the greetings between Natalie and Mr. Edwards move the story forward and create tension. Nice work.//The pacing moves at a good clip. The mechanics, in terms of grammar, punctuation, and spelling, are sound.//………………………I thought you created a really terrifying situation and it was very visual and exciting to read……………………………………….……………………………………………………   WHAT THE JUDGES FEEL NEEDS WORK – ………What’s missing here is Natalie’s inner thought process, her inner conflict. It appears that she’s a real estate agent (it’s never established up front; we only figure it out once the conversation gets going), but why does she so desperately need to dump this place? For example, has she not been able to sell it for such a long time that the owners are threatening to take the job away from her and does she need this commission or she’ll lose her house? There’s no sense of stake here; no desperation within Natalie. In addition, if she suspects or knows the place is haunted, she seems to accept and doesn’t have much of a reaction to that either. Does she not like being there? Does she think that the paranormal doesn’t exist? The bottom line is, Natalie needs to have a conflict, and she needs to have high stakes. Then, when crisis hits, the reader is rooting for her. ………………………I wanted to know a little more about the history of the place. All we find out is that the wife had a tumor and then suddenly she’s being trampled by lots of children, it definitely hints to something very dark. I think learning a little more about that would further raise the stakes and develop the world……….……………………………………………………………………………………

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2 thoughts on “Flash Fiction Challenge Round 2 Feedback

  1. I struggle with feedback as generally I have emotional investment in what I have written. I also feel that sometimes feedback is based on the critic’s own perspective, which may not be the same as mine.

    One aspect I have learnt, actually one of the few I picked up in school, is that if I have to explain to a critic as to what I meant then I failed in my communication of that meaning.

    I also saw an article online where an author, I cant remember which one, said that the thing about reviews is that they usually identify a problem, but that they are usually wrong about what the problem is. That might not be true all the time, but it did make me feel slightly better

    Liked by 1 person

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