Day 9 – Write a 500-word story in the eyes of your antagonist

We’re over halfway now! Only 7 more days until NaNoWriMo begins!

Today’s option was a real challenge. Not because I didn’t know what to write for my antagonist, but because I had only 500 words to use. The story comes in at 499 words, so I succeeded there. However, I think some important elements were lost in the cut. The original story came in at 768 words. That’s a lot of shaving! Of course, it comes in a bit tighter, but I’m concerned it feels a bit rushed towards the end.

Nevertheless, this challenge has been incredibly fun! Today’s prompt was one of the best so far. For a while, I have wanted to understand Nadia better. She is a complex character, but I didn’t ever really think about her past at all. I am glad I had a chance to do just that, as flawed as it is. Apologies for any errors. I am sure I missed some. 😉

The Darkness

The wind howled outside Nadia’s darkened room. Outside the moon was a shade of red, and the midnight hour was nearly upon her.

It had been nearly five years now that she had waited for this moment. She was ready.

__

Her sister, Dorencia, had been the kindest person she had known, until five years ago when a demon took her for his own. She came back the following night with an aura of dark mysticism, and in a single command, she murdered their father and mother. Then she vanished, leaving Nadia orphaned and alone with only questions and no answers.

For years, Nadia had searched for the name of the demon. She wore her mother’s white healer’s dress to bring out the sympathy in those that spoke with her.

As time wore on, the edges became tattered, and the colour turned to gray. Her questions slowly became demands, and the answers started to come in dribs and drabs.

4 years passed, and she looked upon that white dress now covered in dirt. She realized as long as she looked an orphan, she would receive no help. She needed a new dress, but no shopkeeper would help her.

“Someone has to listen,” she thought.

With her new mysticism, she asked the next store. The owner was only too happy to comply. He offered to give her whichever dress she desired and she obliged.

Reality set in, and she realized her enchantment had exposed her. To cover her tracks, she left with a single suggestion. Perhaps the shopkeeper was depressed and he didn’t really like his existence.

As she left, she heard a gurgle and a gasp. She never turned to see what he had done, but she could only assume the scissors in his hand had played a part.

That night she finally got the answers she was looking for. “He comes at midnight on the full moon that has turned to blood.”

__

Now she waited.

The sound of the shutters bursting open announced his arrival.

“Fool,” he whispered in her mind.

The room lit up, and in the center of it, he stood – a shadow.

“She’s mine,” he laughed.

Nadia released a psychic attack. The scream forced him to take a step back, and the mind blasts kept coming until he was cornered.

Nadia laughed as victory drew near.

“She’s mine,” she sneered.

The final blast shattered his subconscious and the shadow fell as he crumbled to the ground. Instead of revealing a man or demon, though, there laid Dorencia. Bloody tears streamed down her face.

Nadia sprinted to her side, but she knew she was too late.

“You were my goal all along,” she heard.

She shuddered. Then she realized the truth. The interrogations, the shopkeeper – she had lost her humanity, and she now realized her dark path to this moment. She deserved this.

As Dorencia’s life faded, the lit room faded to black, and Nadia embraced the darkness.

“I am yours,” she admitted.

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