The Vanquishing of the Easter Bunny

This week’s story was suggested by my stepson. He has requested I step away from my normal stuff and try something a little bit funny. I have never written comedy before, and I don’t think I have succeeded with this story. But it’s been a lot of fun to write it! This will be the one and only story that I write for this site that will be light on the editing to start out, so apologies for that. I’ll try and pick up a few edits in the days to come.

Subject: Easter

Genre: Comedy

Character: Darkmoon Rabbit

A little background for this story – the Darkmoon Rabbit is a reference to a killable mob in World of Warcraft, which is a crude reference to the rabbit in Monty Python’s Holy Grail. The introduction of it as a character in this story made it particularly difficult. Thanks, buddy, for the difficult task. 😉

The Vanquishing of the Easter Bunny

“What makes you think we are up to this challenge?” the level-headed paladin asked. “40 men and women have gone after him before, he all but slaughtered them.”

“And only thanks to the mage that teleported away, too!” the healer announced.

The party of 6 walked along the shores of Darkmoon Island. The paladin, rogue, ranger, mage, and 2 healers were the greatest in their realm. They had defeated many a foe before, and they had pilfered from the coffers of those enemies. They were what many called elitists.

“Today is when he is the weakest,” the rogue advised.

“How do you figure?” the paladin said.

“It’s Easter,” the mage said. “And every Easter, he relives the tragedy that befell his kin. For it was today that he became… the Darkmoon Rabbit.”

Clouds suddenly covered the Sun, and they were blanketed in the dull gray before a storm.

“Dun, dun, dunnn,” the other healer laughed.

“No. He’s right,” the rogue announced, readying her blades to his sides. “The Darkmoon Rabbit is the last… of the Easter bunnies.”

“I feel a story coming on,” the paladin sighed.

“Damn right there is!” the rogue cheered, twirling her blades in her hands.

Thunder rolled, and with no notice, the six party members were being drenched in rain. The rogue set her blades away and grabbed her pouch of powder. She was set to vanish at a moment’s notice. The mage released his staff from his back, readying himself to cast the first spell.

“Maybe we should seek some shelter,” the ranger finally spoke.

The paladin nodded, pointing towards a cave to the east.

“The Darkmoon Rabbit wasn’t always an evil, fierce creature,” the mage explained as the six huddled around his conjured flame.

“He was once the father of a proud heritage. During the first age, he had helped spawn the first of the Easter bunnies, with the help of many a female bunny in the land,” the rogue said.

“Bow chicka wow wow,” the ranger breathed.

“But these were no normal rabbits. They were magic,” the mage chimed in, ignoring him. “Every Easter they laid chocolate eggs for all the children in the land.”

The second healer snickered.

“Don’t scoff,” the rogue laughed. “It’s totally true. They laid chocolate eggs!”

“But not for one little boy. His name was Manastorm, and he was so naughty every year that the bunnies refused to give him a single chocolate egg,” the mage continued.

“So every year, he vowed to grow stronger in his magecraft, until one year, he finally had the power he desired.”

“So three ages after the first Easter bunny was created, Manastorm exhausted his ability and teleported to every town, every village to meet the bunnies.”

“I’m sure he’s not the first man to go after bunnies either,” the second healer winked at the ranger.

“And in every town and village, he morphed the bunnies…. Into chocolate bunnies!” the rogue announced.

Lightning crashed outside the cave, and no less than 3 of the group jumped out of suddenness.

“He ate every last one of them,” the mage continued.

“When the Darkmoon Rabbit felt their essence being consumed, he demanded the last come to Darkmoon Island. Manastorm was waiting, though. He morphed all but the Darkmoon Rabbit, and right in front of his eyes, he smashed them into tiny pieces,” the rogue announced.

“The Darkmoon Rabbit’s heart was broken. He hid inside a cave and grieved for one day. Then from that day forward he was no longer the father of the Easter bunnies… He was the Darkmoon Rabbit. He killed any who entered his cave with nasty big teeth,” the mage finished.

Silence fell upon the cave, and the six sat listening only to the sounds of the crackle of the fire circle.

“Uhh…. Which cave?” the paladin finally asked.

“This one,” they heard from deeper within.

Red eyes stared at them through the deep. A growl rose up and echoed within the cavern. A blur of white swept past them, latching itself onto the second healer. Ripping a limb off the caster, the bunny went to its next target. The rogue used her powder and instantly vanished. The mage teleported into the water, far from the action, and the ranger sent in his pet to act as a distraction as he fled as well.

All that remained was the paladin and the healer, once the pet was vanquished. The paladin struggled to remain unscathed, losing fingers and an ear to the beast, but the healer managed to keep him moving. The paladin’s blade never seemed to reach the Darkmoon Rabbit. It missed it narrowly a few times, but never hit its target.

They were entangled in the brawl for a solid 2 minutes before the others realized that it was a fight that may not be lost. Slowly the rogue made her way back. Her engineered bombs landed a nice blow to the rabbit. With it knocked down for a moment, the ranger dealt the first direct strike. An arrow pierced its ear. The mage sent a fireball as it was down, and its furry chest was singed.

It released a terrible scream as the paladin charged forward, smiting it with his holy power before slamming his blade down into it.

Brown fudge flowed out from its wounds, as the Darkmoon Rabbit gave his last breath.

Lifting the rabbit, the paladin searched it and found a key. The mage gave light to the inside of the cave and they saw what remained of the Rabbit’s belongings. It was all within a chest at the end of the cavern. The paladin opened the chest and looked within.

“It seems all that the Darkmoon Rabbit had left in this world was a miniature rabbit that we can take as a companion,” he said, lifting the tiny rabbit from the chest.

“Dibs!” the rogue said as she grabbed it from the paladin’s hands. “It’s sooooo cute!”

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